Intimacy

I had such an amazing night tonight just sitting in my kitchen with the most beautiful woman that this world has ever seen. Have you ever been at a moment in your life, where you felt complete and utter contentment? That in this moment your life could just pause and you could be completly happy for all eternity? I am finding more and more that I am in need of such moments on a day to day basis. Not that I struggle with happiness, or that I want to become so content that I do nothing with my life, but that I take the time to appreciate the wonderful blessings that God has so graciously put into my life. He didn't have to but he has. Tonight this point was illustrated by a conversation with a very special woman, my beautiful princess Kathryn. She and I sat in my kitchen and talked the night away till it was time for bed. We talked about anything and everything under the sun, our childhoods, our excitment for the future, our love for each other, and just about everything else that we could get our minds on. And all I can say is that I walked away with a true feeling of intimacy with my best friend in the world.
Intimacy. Its such an interesting word, in that it is so exciting and comforting to some, and as frightening as death to others. I have never really understood this concept I don't think until more recently in my life, and I do not pretend to be an expert, but I am now begining to find what is so wonderful and scary about this at the same time. I looked this word intimacy up in the dictionary and I found something intriguing. The definitions given were this

1. Marked by close acquaintance, association, or familiarity.
2. Relating to or indicative of one's deepest nature
3. Of or involved in a sexual relationship.

I think that here we have illustrated the three levels of intimacy and also in there level of importance as well. The first seems to refer more to a relational intimacy, a much needed and slowly developed process in which two people are brought into each others thoughts, feelings, dreams, desires, and overall into their hearts. This I have found to be one of the most important levels of intimacy if not the most important level. Having said that we move on to number two.
This seems almost to sound like a spiritual level in which your deepest nature is made known to somebody else. Where your soul is baired to another person and you are left completly vulnerable. This I believe is where most of the fear comes in for people, that they are not quite sure who they are themselves and thus are afraid to reveal who they are to somebody else in fear that the person could reject them. How incredibly detrimental to a human heart and soul to be rejected. Now here we are faced with the hardest and most beautiful part of intimacy, the Risk. The risk that we face is that we can be rejected, shot down, broken hearted. That we may feel some of the worst pain of our lives, so why do we do it then? Because of the chance of gaining something so special, so divine, that we cannot even put it into words but as two lovers can atest we just have that "warm and fuzzy feeling." I have felt the fuzzies before, as i hope you have, are, or will feel, and they are worth the wait and the risk to get there. There is nothing in this world that I would rather have than the love of my life looking into my eyes, and into my soul, and knowing full well everything there is to know about me, and telling me those three words that make a man feel that he can conquer the world "I Love You."
I sit here now and think about this feeling and this risk and I am reminded that long ago the God of the universe baired himself in this way, making himself vulnerable to his creation in human beings, giving them the ability to choose or not choose him. God took a risk in us. He took a risk in creating the tree of knowledge of good and evil so that we could choose to obey or disobey him. We chose to disobey, and God has been struggling ever since to get that intimacy back so much so that he would sacrifice his own sons life to get it. He loves us and he desires intimacy with us and he will risk it all to have us close to him. I Love you Lord.
And now we reach number three. The physical intimacy. SEX. Desired by all and profained by so many. Physical intimacy in its intended setting is beautiful and wonderful. We have all heard this said before, but we would much rather hear the anthem of the world that says "go for it do whatever feels right to you." This is so contrary to the purpose of this beautiful act and what you get is not intimacy at all, but and act devoid of its purpose. I have talked to many "Christians" and Christians who want to dive into this forbidden fruit before the proper time, and I'm guilty of this myself, but if you do that, you are forgetting something, Intimacy. The first two forms of intimacy mentioned, emotional and spiritual, take so much more time and effort to develop, that when you finally reach this physical intimacy, you know this person in heart and spirit and you celebrate by getting to know them in body. Those who take what is not yet theirs, are not going to live forever with a bad sex life, they will probably go on to enjoy it very much. But there will always be the question, of how good could it have been if we let our other areas of intimacy mature before we entered into this most beautiful act of love. It would be as if God was to say "I cannot wait any longer" and forced a person to love him, without that person coming to a love in God himself. That relationship that intimacy with God, would not be as beautiful as it could have been and God would not be satisfied.
So what is my point? My point is not to say that I am perfect in that i have mastered this, i havent. I struggle all the time with loving a woman more amazing and beautiful than any i have ever known and not being able to have something i want so badly. My point is to say that in having conversations with her I have found that when we reach that place, it will be because we have grown together in such powerful ways, that we trully know each other inside and out, that we will be at the point to complete ourselves and become one in this beautiful act. That is my point to have true intimacy emotionally, spiritually, and physically. I want to capture the true meaning of this word intimacy in my life with my pricess and with God himself. I pray that you will desire this as well.