A New Year...

Its a new year and with that comes new hopes, and new goals. I have never been a fan of new years resolutions, probably because I am not very good at keeping them. But the other day I heard something interesting that is similar to setting resolutions for the new year, but better at making sure that they really do come true. I was listening to author Donald Miller, speaking at the Imago Dei community, a church in the pacific northwest, and he was telling of how he spends the beginning of each year. He said that he takes some time to get away, taking with him only a few legal pads and his thoughts and thinks about what the next year ahead of him will look like. He told of how he maps out goals, and even some ways that he might achieve those goals so that by the time he leaves the cabin, he has an idea of what he would like to accomplish for the year. 

This was an intriguing idea to me and one that I thought that I would try. I couldn't get away for a few days, though I would have liked to, and so I sat with a legal pad at my desk at work and came up with some goals for the year. They are nothing spectacular really, mainly just things that I have been meaning to do for some time and haven't had the motivation to do so, but nonetheless it gives me some perspective on what is important to me and what I would like to accomplish. 

It is quite possible that I might forget about this as the year gets underway, as I get busier, and my life gets more cluttered It may matter to me less that I had set these goals at the start of the year but I thought it would be an interesting experiment to try. My hope is that come next December I will be able to look back at these few sheets of paper and reflect on some of the accomplishments made throughout the year. Peace be with you.

Seasons

I have been thinking about seasons lately. It has taken a while for there to be a distinct change in season from summer to fall this year, and now that it finally has happened it has gotten me thinking a little. A lot has happened since I last wrote, and since I am guessing that those who will actually read this know me already then I will not recount everything here but only to highlight a few things that are relevant to this post. Graduating from college has been more difficult that I thought it would be, specifically when the fall arrived and I was not starting school. I have never not gone back to school in the fall, or rather not since I was three years old. This was a very depressing thought, and for some time I have really been letting it get me down. Don’t get me wrong I am still very happy, especially being married to Katie and spending my life with her, but this year has a very strange feeling about it. 

     One thing that I realize I miss a great deal is the community that I had at Houghton, and it has made me think a lot about my present situation and how I really have a great deal missing from my life with the absence of friends and family challenging me each day. I have been reflecting a lot on how that is where all of the greatest growth in my life has come about, by connecting with people and entering into a close enough community where great change will inevitably follow. I have been think about that in relation to my current situation where I live in the suburbs a place of essentially fake community where many people live in close proximity to one another but many don’t even speak to neighbors that live right across the street from them. I have thought about how one can also attend church and even be active in that church but again not be part of a community. I think for many community is a scary concept because true community will cost you something, and will change the person that you are, and for many that is a very scary thought. 

    Anyway getting back to my discussion about seasons, I have been thinking about how fitting seasons are as a metaphor for out lives. Now I bet many of you find this realization to be a bit obvious and rather simplistic but at this point of my life it is a rather comforting thought. I have thought specifically as I mentioned earlier about how different this autumn has seemed from other autumns  that I have experienced in my life with the weather taking so long to become cold and the leaves to change and fall. I have thought about how if I look at my life many of the seasons of my life have looked rather similar and have been quite predictable as I find myself returning to school, coming home on breaks, spending summers at my parent’s houses, and yet this season of my life has been so different and has felt so strange and uncomfortable. But as I think about it more, I have begun to appreciate the uniqueness that this season has brought to me the opportunities to grow that it has created, and the hope and excitement for the future as well.

    This Autumn has brought unusual and uncomfortable weather and some circumstances to match. But as each day passes and as we begin to see the beautiful changes finally occurring, I am reminded that as strange as something may feel at first, eventually it begins to feel familiar and even a bit predictable. Though I am still a bit uncomfortable with where I am at, I am seeking out some opportunities to become part of a community and I am hopeful that though this fall has been strange, another will be along before I know it, and with it will come a return to school, and some new and at the same time familiar experiences.

thoughts over chinese food...

Today I returned from my college break to a virtually empty campus and was left with nothing to do really but the inspiration to write a little since it has been a while, so I thought that I would share a conversation that I had over dinner with Pete. 

    We had been talking about Houghton and the interesting and slightly irritating things that we witness on our predominately evangelical campus and the questions that it has brought to our own minds. The one question that I thought that was worth discussing here is this interesting idea that people talk about seeking guidance from God on a decision that they are trying to make. Now I want to say first and foremost that I do believe that God can and does in certain occasions make his will known to people in this world, but I think to a degree that many Christians just love to attach his name to things, or to give their decision a little bit more credibility will say something to the effect of “I will pray about it,” or “I am just seeking God’s will on this matter.” 

    Now I know to many that I may just sound like a cynic and to others one with a lack of faith, but I believe that the question begs asking why do we say such things? It seems to me that we do not really mean these things that we say, or if we do we are oblivious to the other influencing factors in our lives. For instance in the conversation with Pete the main topic was the way that students here at Houghton talk about dating and how in many cases when they are growing closer to someone and begin to have feelings for that person they stop and say to themselves I am going to pray about this and see what God’s will is on the matter which almost inevitably leads them to later make the decision that God is in fact leading them to be with this person as though this is some divinely inspired romance. Perhaps you do believe that, perhaps you do believe that God has just one person in mind for you and that God will tell you when you find that person. 

    I think where my problem lies is not in the idea that God does have a plan that he wishes us to live according to, and not with the idea that God may have an opinion with who I end up with because I am sure that he does, my problem is with people just attaching his name to the romance because the prayed for a few days or a few weeks about it and then assume that because the heavens have not fallen down on them that this is God’s sign that they have the go-ahead. I feel that this attitude has the potential to have rather destructive consequences because if the relationship does not work out then this person is left to question God, or to question that impulse that they felt initially in the beginning of the relationship. I feel that such questioning is an unnecessary stress that we put on ourselves as we search for that divinely written romance.

    First of all I must say that I reject that notion that there is one person that God has chosen for you out there because I have seen that work out in too many hurtful ways and based on my own experience this just does not seem to be the case. What I therefore believe is that we write our own destiny and I am sure that many of you believe this too, but what I mean by this is that we go out and we meet people and we like people and so we date different people and inevitably it doesn’t work out some of the time, and then we meet someone that we are really compatible with and we feel those special feelings for them and instead of slamming on the breaks to check with God as to whether this is the romance that he wrote for use at the start of creation, we get to know this person and see how it works. I believe that God does have an opinion on the topic but why are we so convinced that if we pray that he is going to tell us exactly what he thinks about it depriving us of the ability to learn for ourselves the surprise as to how things will go, and that even if this is not the person that you will end up with, that he would deprive you of the ability to learn something from the relationship despite the fact that it may not work out. God wants us to learn for ourselves and not reach for him to hold our hand with every decision in our lives.

    Now some people may look at the things I have written here and completely disagree with me and that is totally fine and expected. But I challenge you to think for yourself and to follow that heart that bears the image of God. I challenge you to not pray for God to tell you exactly what to do, but that you would learn to be in his will and act as he would have you act. That whatever relationship you choose that it would be honoring to yourself and God and that even when they do not work out, that you would not feel the need to question God but to simply understand that this is how things are sometime and accept them as a learning experience that will benefit your future relationships and someday your marriage. 

My Prayer is that more people would realize that God does love us to be in prayer with him and that he expects that from us but that we would also realize that he gave us two feet that he did in fact expect us to walk on one day and that we would have to make choices of our own, but that he hopes for us to follow the values that he has taught us when making those choices so that we may live life to the fullest and not be so busy stopping and looking to the clouds for those divine affirmations of what we are doing. Blessings to all. 

Dr. Gus and Louise Prinsell

I started writing this a while ago but it has just taken me a while to post it. Earlier this semester, our chapel message was brought by a couple from the Houghton community by the name of Dr. Gus and Louise Prinsell. I have known the Prinsells for a while now and have found them to be some of the sweetest and most endearing people in our little community. They shared their journey through life together and the wisdom that they had come to in that time. They shared with us a simple yet beautiful relationship with God, and expressed their thankfulness for each day that they had been given. 

    One thing from this chapel stood out to me and I have been reflecting on it for some time now. Before the Prinsells came up to the podium and spoke, our Dean of the Chapel made some introductory remarks so that everyone would know who they are and in these remarks he stated that “you can normally find them in the back of the chapel holding the back wall up.” When he said this everybody laughed and Dr. Brittain explained that this was a reference to the fact that they have faithfully attended every service since they have been a part of the community. But I wonder if there was not something else implicitly meant by that statement. I thought to myself how true it is that they really do hold that wall up, and not only that wall but the chapel itself. Now I am not remarking about the structural integrity of Wesley Chapel because I am quite sure that the walls are not in danger of falling down. But I thought to myself how true this statement was because we owe so much to these two people and many more members of the community who pray so hard for our college, for our staff and students, and who are always there for us like two grandparents with an over abundance of grandchildren that could never claim all of their love. It is people like this who add to the richness and strength of a community like this, and we are indebted to them more than I think we could ever know. 

    So it is on this note that I implore all of those who will read this to take this into consideration, to be thankful for those who are the silent prayer warriors of our communities, and to encourage you to seek out people like the Prinsells in your own life and community, realizing that these people have so much love and wisdom to offer if we would only stop to listen for a moment or two. Thanks be to the God of grace for the rich treasures that he bestows upon us, and God bless the Prinsells. 

Loneliness in the Streets of London

Summer has to be my least favorite time of the year. I am not a huge fan of hot weather and I get bored pretty easily and quite often, but most of all I hate being away from my sweetheart. I have been home for almost a month now and I find myself almost daily longing for her to be near me, I notice something that reminds me of her and so I wish I was near her, I then get depressed that I am not, and then spend a period of time, sometimes short, sometimes long thinking about how hard this is and about how I don't think that I can take another summer of this. Do you know what I mean? Maybe you don't, but you know what I hope that you do. I found that in these lonely moments away from her have caused me to realize in a stronger way my love for her. It helps me to appreciate in a great way how amazing it is to be with her. I have been thinking lately that there is something to be appreciated in this time away from her, although this is not something that I am always able to see. I have this tendency to just sit and feel sorry for myself instead of noticing all that I have to be grateful for....I think that this is a condition that we all share. My father plays this song a lot that I have really come to love and that I listen to everytime I am feeling really sorry for myself, its called Streets of London and its by the Clancy Brothers and the lyrics go like this:

Have you seen the old man in the closed down market,
Kicking up the papers with his worn out shoes?
In his eyes you see no pride. Hanging loosely by his side,
They're yesterday's papers telling yesterday's news.

Have you seen the old girl who walks the streets of London?
Dirt in her hair and her clothes in rags.
She's no time for talking, she just keeps right on walking,
Carrying her home in two carrier bags.

So how can you tell me you're lonely,
And say that for you the sun don't shine?
Let me take you by the hand & lead you through the streets of
London,
I will show you something to make you change your mind

In the all night cafe at a quarter to eleven,
Same old man sitting there all alone.
Looking at the world over the rim of his tea cup,
Each tea lasts a hour, then he wanders home alone.

Have you seen the old man outside the seamen's mission?
Memory fading like the ribbons he wears.
In this lonesome city the rain cries a little pity,
For one more forgotten hero in a world that doesn't care.

I really feel that that song sums it all up, and I probably could have just posted the lyrics and left it at that. They are words that we all need to hear, to be reminded that we are blessed and that we have a lot to be thankful for. My prayer for you as well as myself is that we would always remember that.